Thank God for Bernie
My kids were lifers at Paideia. I knew before I ever had them that they would go to school there. I wanted to go to school there. That is how it was with all of us Paideia parents. We recognized it when we saw it. Paideia was a special place, capable of amazing things, only one of which was an education. As a clinical psychologist, who as a child had moved around from school to horrible catholic school, I craved for myself and my kids a stable living situation. And I wanted them to go to a school that encouraged a love for learning and created well balanced well educated children who where encouraged and not punished for thinking for themselves.
When my kids were in Jr High they were assigned to Bernie and Bonnie’s class. I may have even asked for it. Athough neither Bernie nor Bonnie were trained as therapists, two years in their classroom probably saved us from years of family therapy. You see Bernie and Bonnie had the kids write and write and write some more. No, they weren’t to write fiction. It had to come from their hearts and souls. It had to be REAL. They were encouraged to find their voices and it wasn’t easy on anyone, including the parents. If the kids were writing about what was real in their lives of course it had to include their relationships with us the main source of both their succor and their angst.
I remember Amanda asking me once if she had ever been abducted or abused or anything. I said, WHAT? She calmly explained that there were quite a few of the kids in her class that had been through really difficult situations and she couldn’t really think of anything too traumatic that had happened to her. She had writer’s block.
I told her that she had been in a tornado warning at Venetian Pool when she was six and it scared her so much that she would not let me out of her site for 6 months and had obsessively watched the weather channel but other than that not really. She didn’t realize that just living as a 13 year old was traumatic enough. She only needed to stick with her truth whatever it was and it would be compelling.
But it was when Amanda and Michael were in Bernies’ Jr High class that Paul and I were going through our separation and divorce. One day Bernie called me in so that he could have Michael tell me how he was avoiding feeling and writing about what was really going on with him. When I came in there was Michael standing there waiting for me to come in with and a couple of his other good buds whose families were also having trouble and not dealing with it. Bernie believed that “true emotion, rather than pure reason, is the secret to creativity and intelligence. The truth is ultimately personal-that’s why it’s universal.” Bernie’s Shein’s book is a compilation of the writings and stories from his middle-school classroom. The kids come in not know who or what they are . Bernie’s goal was to help them though this difficult endeavor to come to the joy on the other side. I have heard their stories from their own mouths I have been moved to tears. I can’t wait to read Bernie’s book.
There will be a book signing at Paideia on Tuesday, October 21, 2008 – 7pm at Paideia School’s Black Box Theater. I will be there. My hats off to you Bernie. Thanks so much.
