Thanksgiving/Christmas Blended Family Celebration Blues

I was going to write about this last year. But I decided that I would be a grown up and let it be. But then damn if we didn’t have the same problems come up all over again this year. Every thanksgiving and Christmas I think we have got the blended family holiday thing handled and yet, thwarted again. This holiday issue plagues me like Charlie Brown and the football.

Two Families, one with four kids the other with two kids. Two divorces. In one family, both father and mother remarried. In the other family, the Dad remarried and the mother has not. Being pragmatic as I am, It seems straight forward that the grown ups should work out where the kids are going to be by taking turns having holiday dinners and such so everyone knows what is expected and no one has to run around having multiple turkey dinners on one day. It makes so much sense to have it be so that one year Duane and I have Thanksgiving at our house and then we switch it up at Christmas so that the other parents have Christmas Dinner that year at their houses. Then the family that doesn’t have Christmas dinner gets to have the kids over in the morning to open presents and have breakfast before the kids go to their other parent’s house for the afternoon and evening. What could be more straight forward? What could be more sensible? It just never works out that way. There is always a drama even after its been decided it gets undecided or passive aggressively sabotaged.

What I really want is for all of the kids, mine and his, to be able to be together with Duane and I for a holiday meal or get together each holiday. One year, one of my husbands kids suggested that his Dad and I should do  our Christmas each year on December 26th so that they no one would be disappointed! Oh yeah, great idea. . . not.  I don’t really care too much about whether it is Christmas Eve or Christmas afternoon but doing  Christmas on the 26th is not an option. We just need to make a plan and stick to it. We have a great time when we do, but do we really need to walk a mine field of guilt bombs in order to get there?  Just wondering.