Dear Citizens of the USA and the World,
The United States of America, your quality supplier of ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for its 2001-2008 service outage.
The technical fault that led to this eight-year service interruption has been located, and the parts responsible for it were replaced Tuesday night, November 4. Early tests of the newly-installed equipment indicate it will be fully functional by mid-January.
If there is enough support, Georgia can produce a patch that will insure optimized service delivery over the next four years. This upgrade will not be automatic, but is highly recommended to replace a resistor shown to cause slow response times and intermittent power interruptions. Please place your orders now. With enough demand we can schedule this upgrade for a December 2 release date.
We apologize for any and all inconvenience caused by this major outage, and we look forward to resuming full service in January. We assure you that the new CEO is dedicated to the creation of the glorious product described in our original mission statement and will bring in the talent necessary to accomplish this goal.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.